How becoming a bilingual reader makes me having two identities

This may sound strange but each time I write in English Language I feel like I were a refreshed person compared to the moments I compose stories in Bahasa Indonesia.

It’s like English Language gives me power to express something in as bold, honest way as I can be. For an introverted person like me, knowing this language has been such a gift. Back then, I was too closed. Living in a country as social as Indonesia, I have to be careful every time I open my mouth. I put others’ interests above my own.

Even after I have written a lot of stories both in English Language and Bahasa Indonesia, each time I start writing articles in Bahasa Indonesia, I constantly check sentences. I am afraid I may hurt peoples’ feelings. To sum it all up, I still can’t completely uncover my masks. It remains hard for me to go all out. I guess that’s because I am not an outspoken person.

As such, I avoid writing things about personal stories in my own native language. I find it too embarrassing. This is uncommon nowadays when youngsters in Indonesia are so open with their feelings, especially those living in the country’s capital, Jakarta. Still for me, talking about feelings in front of public or writing them down in the internet is quite taboo.

Expressing my feelings in English Language somehow proves the other way around. It liberates me to say whatever I like. I feel like a free person each time I say something in the foreign language. May be that’s because the Western culture that is attached to it. As far as I know, Western culture is more democratic. It respects every individual’s voice.

Furthermore, saying something in English Language makes me feel honest about myself. I’ve got nothing to hide. It boosts my confidence. Since I have learned about English Language I have become more expressive. I have begun speaking more in my mother tongue, too. I have been no longer a shy girl from the next door (I am not as timid as people think actually).

The challenge is I must always remind myself not to watch my words, particularly when I am with my parents or older people. They are my teachers of life, the ones I always look up to. So I have to respect them so much because they deserve that.

In working environment, I must convey my opinions in courteous manners. Apart from the money, this is important for my good reputation. Other than that, I have rooms to speak freely. Thanks so much to English Language for making me a braver speaker.

 

 

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I Want to Write….

I want to write without wanting to impress somebody or a group of people. I want to write without having the urge to gain as many likes or comments as possible. I want to write without having any intention to preach those who happen reading my stories. I want to write with no desire to massage my ego. I want to write wishing no affirmations about my stances or opinions from readers. I want to write freeing myself from judging books whether they are generally good or bad. I want to write feeling no pressures at all.

I want to write because I have to take what are inside my head out so that they won’t annoy me anymore. I want to write because writing has long been my best friend. I want to write because writing is similar to talking with my eternal buddy. I want to write to share what I experience. I want to write because I want to reduce the burden weighing on my shoulders sometimes. I want to write because this is one of the ways by which I can learn, especially about English language and literature. I have to write in English language because I mustn’t let my English skills die not only because this has been a gift since I was a little girl but also because I paid a lot for studying it in the university. I want to write because I’d love to keep traces of my memory on books, places that I went to or experiences in my life. I want to write to see how I evolve in terms of writing skills, knowledge and even personality. I want to (at least keep trying to) write from the heart. And lastly, I want to write because I love it and I can’t live without doing it.

 

Creative writing, mood and consistency

If you have spare time please take a look at this website http://www.inspirasi.co. This is where I and my 10 fellows currently work on. We develop a social media that inspires people, especially Indonesians, to make use of their time in social media websites for creating, sharing something beneficial and creative.

No, I won’t promote this web in this blog other than just that. So, my daily tasks is keeping our social media alive, posting creative posts about what we do, making profile of unique members, promoting the website and selecting best stories and best graphics twice per week.

In conclusion, my current job is all about creativity, no longer about news translation and editing, which I think is more challenging. While inspirations are abundance, not all of them are interesting. Or not all of those ideas can be executed. Writing about simple stuff, for me, is somehow more difficult.

In addition, I still feel writing has something to do with mood. While some say consistency, practice are all that we need to get all the writings done but oftentimes I need to be in a good mood to write. This is the reason I am as not productive as I want myself to be. And when I am really in a good mood I can quickly get good ideas.

I haven’t be able to make creative writings as a daily duty despite I love this activity a lot. I still consider this as a hobby. As such, making this hobby as an obligation feels weird. That is why I make posts about Inspirasi.co once per two days or once per three days in order not to bore me. I have to be excited while doing that because if I am not, the writing will be flat, news-kind-of posts.

Blessed those who are always happy in writing novels or composing what they love on a daily basis. Salute to those who can feel no pressures when making their hobbies as daily professions. I am on my way there.